My Son

Today is the sixth anniversary of the worst day in my life! Terrible memories! Unbelievable pain! But I have found it to be true that "in the midst of affliction, my table is spread--with blessings unmeasured, my cup runneth over"!

Dear Son-- what joy you brought into our lives! So many memories I have of you my dearest one. I remember the day you were born and the very first time I held you in my arms, so tiny, with your little pointed chin. The best and most sacred thing had happened to me-- on October 20, 1977--I became a mother. Oh how you were loved by us!

Your spirit was always too big for your body and it seemed to drive you relentlessly......you walked when you were only 10 months old, because why crawl if you can run? You talked early and we loved every little cute thing you said. One night we were driving to the mall and you were standing on the seat between Dad and I and Dad kept saying, "I love you Johnny" and suddenly you looked at him and said, "I love you", so clearly, right back to him. Our hearts melted......

You were the big brother. You were the first child that I put on the school bus and "let go" of and you never looked back. You were baptised on Saturday Nov. 2 and confirmed on Sunday Nov. 3. I remember that you fasted that Sunday for the very first time. You asked me if it was okay--I thought you were too young and that it would be hard but I said you could and you did. You amazed me with your desire to do what was right.

You loved being a Scout. It meant that you could camp and fish and be dirty. You became an Eagle scout just before you turned 14 yrs. old. Your goal was to be the youngest Eagle scout in the troop--see what I mean? You were so driven to excel. You were competitive and very physical. I don't think I've ever seen anyone as excited as you were when you got "drafted" to play in the "majors" in T-ville little league. I loved watching you play sports--especially football in high school and I remember the total elation when you made an interception in a pre-season game against Davis High School. You loved to tease and wrestle and poke with those wickedly strong fingers--and when I "yelled" at you to stop you would just grin that Johnny grin, and keep on doing it.


You loved your friends! And you loved the Nova or maybe it was just the freedom of driving fast......you never really got over that!


I remember so clearly the Sunday that you came and sat down by me in the chapel, after an especially touching talk by a recently returned missionary, and you said, "Mom. I want to go on a mission." What more could a mother dream of?


Your mission to Argentina blessed your life and ours as well. When you came home you wanted to help the whole world and you loved speaking Spanish. That's one of our strongest memories---you warbling away in Espanol! You found Cathy--how we love her! Then you had a son, Braden, and where would we be without him? He is heart of our hearts! You loved them both so very much.

Today we want you to know that we love you and thank you for all you helped us to understand and learn. We are so grateful for the resurrection and the opportunity we will have of association and interaction with you again. We can't wait! What joy! We have so much to catch up on.......

Maybe my brother Mark said it best in the poem he wrote for me:



"MOM I'M HOME"

Grubby hands and cheeks
Clothes caked with mud
Exuberance spread across his face
Wide as the mess on the floor
His toddler eyes filled
With boyhood joy
"Mom, I'm home!"


Baseball cap tipped back
Uniform a mess
From slides and dives
Tournament won
Time now to celebrate
He comes seeking love
"Mom, I'm home!"


Late night, teenager out
Mom waiting up and worried
Preparing the proper scolding
While waiting in the dark
But he comes in with that smile
And it swallows all lectures up
"Mom, I'm home!"


Airport wait and butterflies
Two years--long time
He's done so well
Grown so much
Off the lane he comes
A man now--pride overcomes
"Mom-I'm home!"


Sorrow so heavy and pain so keen
At casket's side her heart near breaks
His fate an anguishing wound
In questioning grief she wonders
Sending tendrils of hope through time
Until she hears peace across eternity
"Mom, I'm home!"


Old and frail, life well-lived
It's time for her to go
She turns away and into the light
And feels the sweet familiarity of this place
Gentle hand upon her shoulder
Voice so dear she's longed to hear
"Mom, you're home."


And as he enfolds her in his arms
The cloak of grief fades finally away
And the love once known
And oft remembered unfolds
'Til it billows and mounts and near bursts her soul
And he whispers at last
"Mom, we're home!"